personal

At it Again

It feels like I'm back where I started. Like awakening to a tired haze of sleepiness. From a dream of clarity, that was maybe never really there? A glorified memory that seems like something it never was. Everything now is a blur, but I remember a calmness, feeling awake, a mental strength and determination. But maybe it is nothing but imagination. Maybe I'm really always like this? When I read my old writings, it shows. The same feeling of numbness, of being unfocused, a soul tearing restlessness, and inability to do what I need to do. What I want to do. I can hear it screaming inside, just from writing this.

Fight it!

Fight.

You are your own worse enemy! Am I my own worst enemy?

My mind is...

Fighting itself, always...